When issues arise between your partner and your in-laws, it’s easy to place blame on the overstepping parent. But here’s the truth: it’s not just an in-law problem—it’s a partner problem. Why? Because it’s the responsibility of the child in the equation to establish and uphold boundaries with their own parent.
If your parent is speaking poorly of your partner, crossing boundaries, or treating them disrespectfully, it’s not just about the parent’s actions—it’s about whether their child (your partner) is stepping in to set the standard.
Why It’s Your Partner’s Job to Protect the Relationship
Your relationship and family unit come first. Protecting and respecting that bond is essential for the long-term health of your partnership.
Here’s what it looks like:
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Setting Boundaries: Your partner should clearly communicate to their parent what is and isn’t acceptable when it comes to how their spouse or partner is treated.
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Reinforcing Boundaries: Once boundaries are established, it’s up to them to ensure they’re respected—consistently.
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Speaking Up: Whether it’s about parenting choices, holiday plans, or general respect, your partner must be the one to have the tough conversations with their parent when needed.
This doesn’t mean you can’t support or discuss these issues as a team, but when it comes to confronting a parent, it’s best handled by their child.
Why Boundaries Matter for Longevity
Drawing the line (and holding it) might be uncomfortable, but it’s non-negotiable for a thriving relationship. Without boundaries:
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Resentment grows between you and your partner.
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Your family unit can feel unprotected or undervalued.
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Relationships with in-laws worsen due to unchecked behavior.
By prioritizing the respect and protection of your relationship, you send a clear message: this partnership is sacred and non-negotiable.
If there’s a recurring issue between your partner and your in-law, ask yourself: is this an in-law problem, or is it a partner problem? A strong, lasting relationship requires clear communication, boundary-setting, and unwavering protection of your family unit.
Because when it comes to love and respect, nothing else should matter more.
